oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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