Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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