Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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