I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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