Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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