Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
