so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
