I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
