So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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