Fine. I'll sleep in my office
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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