Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
