champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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