I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
