Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
