you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
