They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
