weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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