I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
