I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
