Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
