nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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