we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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