3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
