and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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