real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
