He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize