It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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