I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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