k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize