we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
