apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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