Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
