How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize