I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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