I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize