last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
