i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
