The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My feet surprised me
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