just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
