but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
