never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
