Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize