after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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