I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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