My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
