The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
