It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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