Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
