you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
