Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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