i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
