You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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