ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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