I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
