did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
