just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
