three words: i give head
three words: not that well
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
