what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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