I want to have your abortion
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
