nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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